How can women today achieve harmonious and lasting relationships with men based on mutual respect? This question has been explored by a separated woman who has experienced great conflict and had multiple relationships. Her interest has focused on understanding masculinity.
Achieving Harmonious and Lasting Relationships: The Importance of Mutual Respect between Women and Men
A recent discovery suggests that gender inequality is partly due to women not occupying their rightful place and men not receiving the recognition they deserve. Experts such as Bert Hellinger, Ton van Der Koon, Pilar Sordo and Steve Harvey have shed light on this topic with their contributions, along with my personal experience and intensive research. These ideas are shared in this article to inform the reader.
For centuries, women have been fighting for equal rights. After much effort and risk, women have managed to impose themselves in society and politics. Now we have access to economic, professional and social autonomy that allows for individual development. Yet, balancing these achievements with the traditional roles assigned to women as mothers or wives still remains complicated for many.
The importance of complementarity between the masculine and the feminine for human fulfillment
Human life relies on both the masculine and the feminine. According to “Systemic Family with the Bert Hellinger Approach,” both elements are essential for achieving a sense of fulfillment. From a biological perspective, it has been proven that parental genetic material is needed to form a complete zygote and develop a human being.
An egg containing half of the maternal genetic material joins with the sperm containing half of the paternal genetic material to create this zygote. Then, the zygote begins to subdivide, eventually forming an entire human being.
Psychotherapist Bert Hellinger discovered in his work with Family Constellations that men and women are dependent on each other to feel complete. According to Hellinger, women have forgotten the importance of the masculine and as a result, have lost their place in the world. He explains that women take the feminine from their mothers and men take the masculine from their fathers; this can be achieved either during growth together with their parents or through paternal figures.
Therefore, both men and women must clearly understand what their masculine and feminine roles are to develop harmoniously and successfully in life.
The importance of male role in Family Survival and Well-Being
Men provide the strength of survival and adaptation to reality, commitment, responsibility and professional development. Since the dawn of humanity men have been tasked with providing what is necessary to ensure safety, food and shelter for their families.
This ability involves developing physical strength and particular skills to fulfill this noble task. In modern times men continue to play this important role in guaranteeing well-being and security for their families provided they are allowed to do so.
In his book “Act like a Lady, Think Like a Man” Steve Harvey affirms that a man has not fulfilled his destiny until he understands who he is and what he does to produce. This prompts Ton van Der Koon to identify what he calls “the crisis of masculinity”.
According to Bert Hellinger the origin of male identity is related to his parents, ancestors and roots.
The role of fathers in the development of male identity
A recent study suggests that men can find their own identity by freeing themselves from maternal ascendancy and reconnecting with the paternal figure.
According to Dr. Van der Koon, when parents are absent, males seek initiation into masculinity through drug abuse, violence or depression. These problematic behaviors are a response to the lack of male guidance and support during the developmental process.
Once a woman becomes pregnant, the father should take on the responsibility of providing for and protecting his family.
This drives a man to seek his purpose, that which will allow him to obtain the resources necessary for the well-being of all. The measure of his manhood is determined by how much he is capable of producing to guarantee the best possible conditions.
In today’s world where physical strength is not the determining factor for achieving well-being, women can contribute to the care of their families through work. This action is essential in providing security, food, and shelter as a practical measure of survival and success.
How resentment toward men is affecting our interpersonal relationships and society
Pilar Sordo warns that Latin Americans are filled with resentment towards men. This attitude has been passed down through generations, with mothers constantly complaining about them and expressing their displeasure for their behaviors, actions, family life and mistakes.
According to Sordo, this behavior is deeply damaging to our interpersonal relationships and society as a whole. Our generation’s children have come to the conclusion that life in a couple and romantic commitments are too painful to risk being disappointed.
Today’s men are the sons, husbands, colleagues and subordinates of women.
Furthermore, they are also potential candidates for a romantic relationship. Many of them feel devalued when constantly being convinced that they are not essential for success. This has caused them to lose their identity along the way…